Today is one of these days.
A day when grief grips you in its icy claws and won't let go. A day when I cannot overcome the violence of the loss, nor the overwhelming fear of losing again. The events from the night I gave birth to the twins and the two days of my son in the NICU come back to me with all their violence and sadness. The months of intense grief when all I could do was stare at the wall, numb with pain. I am afraid of reliving it all, with this baby. I know it could all happen again. I can't do anything else than crying today. Lack of sleep and bedrest make things even worse. Just one of these days...
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so sorry you are having one of those days. i have had them myself, they are unavoidable and often paralyzing... but they do eventually pass. i'm here anytime you need to talk. love to you and ALL of your beautiful children.
ReplyDeleteI know all to well how this feel. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, but I would be lying to you. Even since Chance was born I still have these feelings. I check to make sure he is breathing all the time. But know that you have God on your side, two beautiful babies looking out for you and a world of friends standing beside you. Enjoy every moment even the hard ones. This is what makes us MOM's.
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