About me

In January 2009, I was 21 weeks pregnant with twins. A boy and a girl. It was my first pregnancy, I was young, I was healthy and everything was going well. Right after New Year's, I went in for a routine check-up and was immediately put on strict hospital bedrest: I had a severe case of cervical incompetence and was about to lose the pregnancy. The doctors performed an emergency cerclage the day after. Basically, it's a stitch sewn around the cervix to prevent it from opening prematurely. It is usually performed much earlier in the pregnancy, before any changes occur in the cervix. Done this late in the pregnancy, the risk of infection is much higher.

After a month in the hospital, an infection made its way in the placentas. I went into labor and there was nothing to do to stop it. At 25 weeks, my babies were actually in the viability zone. But the infection was too much for them to fight: my daughter died after only 30 minutes and my son left us after 2 days in the NICU.

We were shattered, heart-broken and devastated. After much grieving, counselling, crying, doctor-shopping and talking, I got pregnant again. This time, we know what we are up against and although it is very scary, we are trying to keep the faith.

My cerclage was done at 14 weeks, and I was then immediately placed on full bedrest. I have the right to go from the couch to the bedroom, take one shower a day (sitting on a stool, like my GrandMa) and go to the bathroom. Other than that, I have to lay on my side. I have been doing this for nearly 10 weeks now, and I'm pleased to say that things are going well. My OB is happy and I am happy he's happy. I will be 24 weeks in 2 days, entering the viability zone.

This blog is about my journey through cervical incompetence, cerclage, grief, bedrest and hope.