Let's start with the great news: I'm 34 weeks and my rock star of a cervix is measuring 3.8cm! I decided I would no longer worry about it, nor these stupid BH contractions.
But there is something new to worry about: the Bean is tiny...
On Monday, I got a call from Dr. G's office, telling me he had to take an emergency leave of absence. When I asked when he would be back, I got a very Asian reply:"we will keep you posted". They have mastered the art of talking while not saying much. A day later, I started hearing scary rumors. Hong Kong is a tiny place, with a small expat community who loooooves to gossip. I got a mail from a friend telling me Dr. G had had a stroke. What?! My cesarean is scheduled for the 29th and my doctor has a stroke?! Panic aboard. I needed to get to the bottom of this. So I called his office and my conversation with his nurse went like this:
Me:"I've heard Dr. G had a stroke, and I'd like to know where I can send flowers" (haha, lame excuse to get the truth out of her)
Her:"No, he didn't have a stroke"
Me:"Ah?..."
Her:"..."
Me: "..."
After 2 minutes of silence, I gave up and hung up the phone. Damn her.
I found another high-risk OB working in the same hospital, highly recommended by several women with pregnancies as complicated as me, and he agreed to seeing me. Very nice man, and very thorough. I like him a lot. BUT he freaked me out. My little Bean is apparently measuring 2 weeks smaller than he/she should be! The head is big, but the tummy is tiny. We're going to need to follow the growth very closely and...wait for it... possibly deliver early if the Bean is not growing well! Pardon my French, but WTF?! I've worked so hard to get to term, and now something I have no power over is going to make the Bean premature. It's so demoralizing and depressing.
I got home, worried, and then did what no pregnant woman should ever do: I googled. Google is an evil tool. Within 5 minutes, I was reading all about a condition called intra-uterine growth restriction (IUGR), that can cause stillbirth. A full-blown panic attack ensued before my hubby took the laptop away from me. I'm going to have to spend the whole week worried sick, overeating to try and get this little one to put on weight and not knowing what's going on. I'm honesly tired of this pregnancy. I just don't get a break.
Gotta go get preemie clothes and diapers now... :-(
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It's now 6 days since you posted and still no bean yet. Good news! Every day is one more day closer to a full term little guy or gal. I love reading your blog. Not only are you a FANTASTIC writer but also gives me encouragment to see how strong you are and makes me believe I can give our Finlan a little brother/sister someday. Your pregnancy is an uphill battle but you are winning. Keep up the fight!!!!
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